It's been a while.

and not much has changed.

still living a dramatic life.

shortly after my uncle passed, my great aunt Gwen passed on...

i don't know why this year is delivering itself in such a depressing manner,

but i am not really looking forward to seeing what else it has to offer.

business has been so so so slow...

i'm applying at the ice cream shop down the street, maybe getting into AD work, and possibly going to school to become a cobbler (shoe designer/maker). I guess I'm not getting the Hollywood story I imagined.. I have a lot more work to do to get there. It's not everything it's promised to be. I thought that after 6 years in the modeling business, I would have found a way to make more money and be more successful. But the up-side to it is that I am a lot more successful than most 20 year old girls.. I just expect a lot more from myself.

annnnyways..

I'm a Monsta truck gangsta.

luxy 101.

so after a good bottle of black label between the four of us, i proceded to the bathroom at Luxy101. my cute little asain bartender/waitress came into the bathroom to make sure i got enough water whilest puking up j.walker+test tube shots. t-bags handled me out to his car and drove me to the gerlach house with no complaints (that i can remember). my boys then, had to carry me (one at my shoulders & one at my feet) up the stairs & put me in bed. thank god they love me. clearly, i am a handful. we like to party... and apparently i like to get d-runk. 

i feel very loved after my weekend. 

i love all of you that treat me like a real friend,
i love all of you that allow me to act like a total fool,
i love all of you that show concern when things go wrong,
i love all of you that care about the future of my being,
i love all of you that are my brothers/sisters for the long run.

just know i will be there to carry you, one by one, on my bare back, up the stairs, into bed, and wipe your mouth when you throw up the booze i buy you.
forevs.

and i would love to super-impose cory where that fugly black dot is ruining my picture.

another building knocked down.

my world is crumbling.

RIP uncle jeff quon.

passed today sometime near 4:55.

you will be missed.

the coolest asain on the block.

we love you.

my mind has been elsewhere.

so i believe this has got to be the most boring blog on the entire internet.

i don't think i would read it, if it weren't my own.

my bestfriend, Kaitlyn, writes one of the most engaging blogs of ALL TIME... :D

drrtylaundry

i check her blog about 30 times a day because she is just that ridiculously amazing, and this isn't JUST friend to friend promotion, i mean, seriously she is just that good.

my life is pretty boring lately, minus my dates with kaitlyn.

we see movies, eat mounds of food, and from time to time consume delicious margaritas.

i really think we should hire faux paparazzi to follow us around all day, 

becuase for some reason, whenever i am around her, i dress WAAAAY better than normal.

iiii dont know, its just a thought. the only exciting thing that just made me take a step back and think,  was when my cell phone rang on my way to irvine, it was Janice D. just calling to say hi and let me know what's going on in her life. i wish i could explain how awesome this woman is. 

janice is my homegirl.

what'cha got t'say 'bout dat?

hey you crazy girl.

i know someone who has fallen off the deep end.

isn't that fabulous?

anywayssss.
i've been terribly ill for almost two weeks.
they say its a horrible stomach flu.
my mum has been taking care of me.


isn't she just breathtaking?

i know, i know. i die.

anyways, to you crazy girl;
i hope you enjoy your life in the middle of your tornado.
you could always click your heels together and go home...
but seeing as how you gave your shoes to Toto,
you'll be lost in Oz forever.
i hope one day you'll realize there's no place like home
before it's too late to return.
i hear the Ozians aren't fans of backstabbers,
keep a watchful eye open at all times,
or they'll come and teach you a lesson little girl...
and we all know you hate learning lessons.

beauty at its realesttttttt.

yes. this is the view from my house.



and these are Newport Beach.


beauty comes and beauty goes
for a woman,
in wrinkles it shows.
the sun's tainted kiss
bring to the face, the feet of crows.
yet, there is one beauty
we will forever know,
that of the heavens,
where one day, we all will go.

slow lane.

home alone..
long day.

big audition for something pretty exciting... the sooner i know, the sooner i can tell you.


let me whisper some secrets in your ear:

"i couldn't put into words how much i dearly love you."

"it hurts that you left me behind."

"i'm sad that no one cares as much as i do."

"there's no stopping me once i start to walk away."